Fortunately all did go well. I was reading back on my concerns and Gail's comments on my concerns and I am so glad that I was able to just "be" and experience. The first few days of my trip, after recovering from swollen elephant ankles and West to East jet-lag, was a whole bundle of nerves. When I first saw Sam and jumped into his arms I instantly felt comfortable with him and each day that comfort grew and went off the charts. However, the swarm of emotions flooded me for about 3 days until I could settle down and breathe and be able to take it all in. In that first few days I met his co workers who all said, "Sam talks about you all of the time"; partied with school chums, who couldn't believe that a white chick from the US could hang, drink and dance with the best of 'em; met the grandmother, great-grandmother, uncles, cousins, aunts...then on to mom, sisters, nieces, step dad and nephew. Not even to mention meeting neighbors, acquaintances, etc. All of this on top of swirling hopes, fears, hormones and big big questions. After that I began to settle, got into the South African rhythm, go into a comfortable yet exploratory rhythm with Sam and by the time I left felt that Sowetans were "my peeps" and Sam's family was my own. I realized something a few days ago. When I was there last time I had absolutely no idea what to expect and was taken so far outside of my comfort zone that I had to sink or swim. Meeting Sam in that environment was both ridiculous and necessary. I don't think I would have been open to it otherwise. This time I was able to just filter through the insecurities and emotions and just be, with myself and with Sam.
