The next big thing!

I am a huge fan of Cake Wrecks, Post Secret, Not Always Right , Texts from Last Night not only because they are fun to distract my brain midday while i eat my lunch at my desk (with the exception of  TFLN since is blocked by the state), but also because I think they are amazingly inspired and clever. I mean the fact that Jen of Cake Wrecks collects photos of cakes, yes cakes, makes hilarious comments and posts them on the web to amuse us daily and then makes a living out of it is sheer genius! And Post Secret is so hauntingly charming and so full of sociological insight that one could teach an college course about it. So why can't I come up with MY idea for a cleaver and charming blog topic that will snowball into the next must-read blog? Something to collect, that people send in, that reflects the decay or beauty of our society? I mean have you ever read Found Magazine ?! That shit is sheer brilliance! I have a co-worker who post photos on her Facebook page of funny things she finds just out in the real world. Nothing fancy, just simple experiences, feelings and observations of the complete silliness around us. I mean Shit My Dad Says went from a Twitter feed to a TV show. I don't want fame or a book deal, just an inspired idea.  Damn, wish I was that clever.

Major Award has arrived!

Check out my sweet custom bull penis...correction, "bull reproductive organ" cane! (see previous post)

Every well brought up woman should have one!

Cougar handle and buffalo nickel

You can all come over and check it out, but no caressing allowed! It is supposed to last a lifetime. My children will inherit a fantastic family heirloom!

20 Year Reunion

My over all impression of the reunion was that it was surreal. People looked vaguely familiar or looked exactly the same as if they had literally transported in time. Many of them looked way older than I feel and hopefully look. But the most surreal part was the jogging of my high school brain. It brought forward so many memories, not of specific people or instances but more feelings and attitudes that i had totally forgotten about. My life has been so full in that 20 years and then to bring out the 18 year old through all that was quite an interesting experience.

So here is how it went down: The reunion was held at Red Butte Garden which was a great choice and I enjoyed being there regardless, I had straightened my hair for the event which left me somewhat anonymous, almost like wearing a mask at a masquerade.

Straight hair with identifying nametag

I stood in line to get my name tag which proved to be the only way most people were able to identify me. I then immediately walked to the bar and got wine and found my friends who I hang out with on about a monthly basis anyway. Then we went and looked at the memorial table, which was well done and touching since one of our friends just passed unexpectedly a few months ago, and the flashback table with yearbooks, photos, etc. Fun to look at but it all seemed so out of body yet so familiar it seemed like yesterday!

Memorial Table

Ahh, memories!

We got food which was also kind of strange because I have been on the other side as the caterer at that venue so many times. The great organizers of the event started their program which was touching, funny and sweet but since it echos terribly in the Orangerie and no one would shut up, even for the reading of raffle numbers, it was difficult to hear. We watched a video of then and now photos and talked about old times.

I talked to a couple of people while in line for food, a few as I walked past and they looked at my nametag and said, "oh Heather! Good to see you" or just smiled and nodded but no one really paid too much attention to me. Which pretty much sums up my high school career anyway. I actually forgot how I was back then. I was shy and kept mostly to myself and just surrounded myself with like minded people. Which actually isn't that much different than i am now actually, just that my world is a big bigger and I care way less what people think.

Jana and Laura, friends whom I see regularly and the only ones I bothered to get photos with

So overall, glad I went...oh wait! Almost forgot the best part! There was this raffle, see..and I bought a few tickets because it was easier than getting change for the drink tickets and it went to some charity. So the second to last prize was up (the last prize being a free colonoscopy...i'm not kidding...are we really that old?) and they called one of my numbers! Hooray! I actually didn't even know what I missed and my friend Laura said, "That's you! I think you won a putter or something!" ok, I thought, I can give it to a friend or put it on craigslist or something. So I walk up there and my class mate who is giving out the prize tells me to sit down and she will come over and "explain" my prize to me. Uh, ok. So a few minutes later she comes over and explains that she an her grandfather handmade...wait for it...putters, canes, walking sticks and show horns out of...bull or bison PENISES! Only me right?! So I giggled and listened to her explain that it is custom made so I get to fill out a form and give it to her and my major award would be coming to me by FedEx in a couple of weeks. Seriously, who does this crap happen to?! So that then led to several jokes amongst my friends, like "Wow, you must have a lot of balls", or "Good thing they didn't give you the shaft", or "You can take shlong walks with your new cane" (thanks Mark!). So there you go. Dare you to top that reunion story!

Still revamping

I think I like the word "revamping" because it has the word "vamp" in it! I am playing around with design and features for this blog so it will continue to change until I am done "vamping" it!

Spoiler alert (for Jana): One of the reasons I decided to reboot was because of Sam updates, so hold tight. More to come on that soon, I promise. Gotta get a few things sorted first.

What to watch for: A sweet...or bittersweet post about my 20 year high school reunion! Seriously, how is that possible?! I literally feel that the last 20 years have been very full and I have grown and improved on that 1990 model of myself. But really?! TWENTY years?! Most of the time I feel like I am still in my mid-twenties anyway. Guess I will just have to accept that I graduated sometime around 8.

Followers: I invited you because you are my friend and perhaps feel guilty that I haven't done a better job of keeping in touch and honestly, because I fell that you may not judge me (well at least not harshly). But i can't guarantee that there will be anything you actually are interested in reading and I sincerely wont be insulted if you don't. I needed to have an outlet and write something other than text messages and in bullet points. So let the experiment redeux/revamp begin!

New Beginnings!

I am simultaneously re-booting my blog as well as locking it down. If you are viewing this your are one of the privileged few!
A redesign and overhaul to come! I bet you can't wait!

Why 2009 ROCKS already

TOP 5 REASONS 2009 Rocks So Far:
1. No more Bush! Barack is finally in!
2. Working out at the gym and actually enjoying it
3. Organizing and cleaning...ah, so soothing
4. "Lost" has started again. It's pathetic but really good TV is like a weekly drug.
5. Oh yeah and my boyfriend is FINALLY coming to the US to visit me! Now I just have to get mentally and physically prepared (see #s 2&3)

Reflections of 2008

I am a big fan of lists, especially bullet points and since end-of-year lists are what everyone does this time of year, I thought I would look back at my life in 2008 through lists. It's hard to remember everything that made the last 12 months great and the things that I would rather forget. Note: these lists aren't complete or in any particular order.

Places I Traveled, far and near:
1. South Africa - Johannesburg, Cape Town
2. Kenya
3. Park City, UT
4. Fishlake, UT
5. North Carolina - Charlotte, Durham, Carolina Beach
6. Wendover, UT/NV
7. Palm Springs, CA
8. Springdale, UT
9. Mesquite, NV

New in 2008:
1. Took agility classes with Lulu
2. Played Rock Band
3. Job title and responsibilities
4. Hosted outdoor movie night
5. Donated to a presidential campaign or any political campaign
6. Attended a South African wedding
7. Chaperoned Queer Prom
8. Purchased new furniture
9. MacBook
10. 4-10s

Movies in the theater:
1. Long Way Down
2. Doubt
3. Twilight
5. 27 Dresses
6. Momma Mia
7. I know there are many more....or maybe not, which is strange

Books I read:
1. Twilight
2. Long Walk to Freedom
3. Mansfield Park
4. Eat, Pray, Love
5. A New Earth
6. Poisonwood Bible
7. New Moon
8. Eclispe
9. Northanger Abbey
10. Austenland
11. I really did read more than Twilight books and Jane Austen!

I'm glad I did:
1. All of the traveling
2. Barak-o-Thon at Brewvies
3. Spa day with Chicas
4. Let myself not feel guilty and partially empty
5. Hosted surprise Wedding Shower
6. Took yoga from Tam

I wish i did:
1. Visit the Northwest.
2. Spent more time with my dad
3. Better about checking in and keeping up with people.
4. Completed projects in the back yard.
5. Completed projects in the house.
6. Rollerblade more
7. Expresses feelings and appreciation better

I wish I hadn't:
1. Rode my bike through goat heads
2. Forgot birthdays and to call when I said I would
3. Flirted more than I should
4. Let fear and doubt overwhelm me

I'm glad I didn't:
1. Succumb to temptation
2. Quit my job

Things that sucked:
1. Not getting Visa for Sam
2. Having to fire someone
3. Having to give a positive HIV result for the first time
4. Cats with abscesses
5. UTIs
6. Not being with Sam
7. Loosing Sugarhouse
8. Loosing people and pets

Things that rocked:
1. Random summer nights
2. Laughing with friends
3. "Lost" Parties
4. Being with Sam
5. Obama
6. Getting to see penguins, baboons, giraffes, hippos, lions


Ok, I thought that would be a fun little exercise to sum up the year but it turned out to be a really interesting and somewhat disturbing and sobering cathartic process. Huh? That's some valuable information. Guess we'll see what I do with it in 2009.

3 weekends, part 2

I am so lucky to have the friends that I do. Not just because they are kind enough to host me and show me around to places i've never been and not just because they rent a beach house and invite me to come along. That is quite more than I deserve surely but I also have the added bonus of having such dear friends that when we are sitting in said house or said beach that we are talking and laughing just as if time and miles didn't exist. I have had to sort out a lot of crappy friends and acquaintances over the years, definitly spent more time on more people than made any common sense and don't keep up with others that I wish we could but as my thirties creep on it comes more and more into focus what personal relationships really are and know who I can really count on and know that I can do right by them and that they can count on me too. Now with that being said...
On my second weekend away I traveled to the great state of North Carolina to swat 2 mosquitos, as it were. One friend lives in Charlotte with her husband.

They have a lovely home in the suburb with their 3 dogs and cat and have the coolest in-home bar you could ever imagine. Being with them and talking and catching up, only for a few days was a great recharge and a reminder of all that I said above in paragraph one.
After too short of two days, we rented a car and drove the tree lined freeway to Durham where another of our friend's lives in her adorable town home by Duke University. After a charming tour of the city and a night on her couch, we drove across the (same?) tree lined highway to the beach where she had rented a gorgeous beach house for her birthday week. Even though hurricanes and fall were looming, the quiet and therapeutic time with the sea air and sea foam further recharge the rusty batteries. Not to mention the day trip to Bald Head island where I drove a golf cart for the first time and some homemade facials (g-cials). I have been blessed with traveling to africa but trips to a new place with your girlfriends can't be beat!

3 weekends, part 3

Right now I am doing exactly what I imagined and dreamed of when I purchased my laptop in May, and for that matter, started my blog. I am sitting on the patio of an internet cafe in Springdale Utah, right outside of Zion national Park sipping chai and looking up at the Red Rock while smelling the passing rainstorm. Well maybe not exactly this scene but it is a great culmination of that hip girl blogging on her Apple dream.
This month has been a lot of travel but I don't feel as off and distracted as I usually do when I am not home much. I feel a good sense of calm and centered-ness that I haven't felt in quite a while. Traveling is always for me the quinticentual"stepping back" that I seem to need on a regular basis. I think about the things I want/need to do, but not in a panicy way. I am able to get perspective on relationships and of course myself that I just can't get in my own world. Many times the travel is by myself but these 3 trips have been with very different people from different aspects of my life, family, friends and work colleagues which all shed light on, and reflect those parts back at me.
So I will review these 3 trips in reverse as my intentions of blogging on each one of them failed.
SPRINGDALE: Work
As my program has for the last several years, we have supported Southern Utah Pride and their festival. This year was different in that we conducted mass-HIV and STD testing. We brought with us enough supplies to test 100 people and we came very close, by testing 94. The event was a lot of fun and the team was amazing. I was proud of them and am also glad it is over because there are so many things that could have gone wrong and additionally relieved that we didn't have any positive results. Looking back now, I am extraordinarily proud of what we accomplished and look forward to expanding our program to other such events, although not for quite a while. My co-workers are fun and committed people who have also been able to get along amazingly well and able to let loose and kick back with each other in a way I didn't expect. In many ways it has been quite surreal. And to show how strange my life can be, we have 64 viles of urine with potential Chlamydia and deactivated HIV virus in our hotel fridge. Just another day at the office! Today, Sunday, is our day off and E and I are spending a relaxing day in Springdale with lunch, a bit of shopping, a bit of hiking, a nap on the grass in the park and now the internet cafe. I just told her that I wished we could have spent the whole day doing each one of those things. But as is the pattern for most of my life, I get a little bit of everything instead of focusing on any one thing. Tomorrow we have a community meeting in Cedar City and then driving home for a late arrival. Which is why I am writing this now while I still have pleasant feelings and thoughts about the experience and my co-workers...by tomorrow night I am sure that the grumpiness and annoyance will have set in.

No excuses

My horoscope today says, "You need to find some good way to express yourself, even if you feel crazy or really out of sorts. Try to grab a friend and pour your heart out, or write everything down without editing a word." If only I had a blog for such an outlet...oh wait, I do! Sorry folk(s) I haven't abandoned this blog, although it has been sorely neglected. I said that if I had a laptop I would be able to update better, I said I would update more if I had some interesting stories and photos to share, I said I would be more current, if not relevant. Well all of that is true yet I still have been slacking. Ugh!

Airtoons

As everyone does, I receive a lot of email forwards. Some are more memorable than others. Some are systematically forwarded to selected groups of friends based on the content and my urge to spread a little humour, but usually not inspiration and never for "good luck". Regardless, most of them are forgotten a few seconds after I hit the send button. One forward that I received about 8 years ago has always stuck with me. It was a collection of pictures from the airline safety cards with captions added. The captions actually make way more sense according to the photos than the airline intended. It plays into my goofy sarcasm and I have never been able to look at those information cards the same. I was thinking about this email the other day and found a whole website of them by a guy who claims that he is the originator of the idea. Who knows if he is because I also found a few other knock-offs, but this one is my favorite. www.airtoons.com

Clearly good advice on the ground OR in the air!

Bike Tour through Amsterdam

My bike! "Big Tex" We started at the shop and went through the city, stopping to point out Amsterdam sites.


Out tour guide. He was an adorable Brit with great stories.


We traveled along the Amstel river and saw a lot of cool houseboats but this one had to take the cake!


400 year old windmill. People live in it and are probably annoyed at us tourists but how can you not get a cheesy photo?


We rode through the countryside until we came to a house where they make wooden shoes and cheese, the old fashioned way.

CHEEEESSSSEEE!!!


We went back through 2 city parks and only in Amsterdam would public art also be a Picasso.

For more Amsterdam photos, check out my slideshow

A walk through Amsterdam

On my first day in Amsterdam, after my train/tram adventure and after stumbling through the Van Gogh museum I decided to head out to find some food. I had no idea which way to go and was slightly paranoid that I wouldn't find my way back but decided to just start walking and see what I could see while looking for a restaurant. It literally took me 1.5 hours to find something. I loved the walk and the exploration but was literally ready to pass out by the time I found a little Indian restaurant that could have served rocks in curry and I would have eaten it at that point. Here is what I saw along the way.


I loved these trees in Museumplein


Heineken no longer brews here. Amstel does and you can find your nearest pub by the Amstel signs.


I think all of Amsterdam is a meditation center


Yes, that is the Hansel and Gretel Cafe. I tried to eat here but could only get drinks after 5. My quest for food continued...


Stop and smell the roses


The sun was going down and making beautiful shadows and reflections, I walked along the canal for a while and walked past several clouds of smoke engulfing some locals.

Ask a....

This week is National HIV Testing Week. As part of the promotion, Rob in my office arranged for us to feature a person living with HIV on their "Ask A..." segment this morning. So our "Ask an HIV Positive Person" was Brenda and she did an amazing job. I jumped in a few times, as I am likely to do, as the "sexpert" (as Tam likes to call me).
If you want to hear the podcast of the show, you can find it online or on iTunes under "Radio From Hell", June 26, 2008 show. The feature starts at about 84 minutes in.

I amsterdam

All that Amsterdam is has been rumored about for years. You hear about the drugs and the sex and the bikes, the dikes, Venice of the North, the little boy with his finger stuck in the dike, the pickled herring, the art, the holocaust, the gay capitol of Europe. Yup, Amsterdam has it all. I was only there for about 48 hours and I never even made it to the Red Light District or one single "coffee" shop. I lucked out that the hotel I found on Hotels.com was right in the middle of it all. Just a few feet (meters) from the Van Gogh Museum, the Rijksmuseum, the "I amsterdam" sign and a tram stop.

I didn't end up needing to venture very far and was frankly afraid to considering the first thing I did there was get lost. I decided to be cool and take the train and tram to my hotel. I asked someone at the airport what stop and tram I would need and headed off to grab the train in Central Amsterdam. Easy enough. Keep in mind that I am alone, jet lagged, and hauling 80 pound of luggage everywhere. After a few tries I found the right train and hauled my luggage up a small stairway to sit in 2nd class, with everyone else. I rode in a daze to central station and then drug my bags to try to find the tram. I found them but still needed a ticket, I found the ticket booth, up more stairs. Got my ticket now had to find tram. Got on, ticket stamped now I am on my way. Enjoying view of Amsterdam from tram and watching people, have sneaking suspicion I am on wrong tram, I will give it longer. Decide I am on wrong tram after about 15 minutes, am told by ticket taker that I need to get off, cross the tracks get back on going other direction to junction stop, get off, cross more tracks and get on correct tram. Ok, on the right line, much relieved, don't see my stop coming up but I know I am on the right tram going right direction so what could go wrong now? Enjoy tram ride again till I notice I am leaving the city and in weird looking suburb, this can't be right. Am told to get off tram, cross the tracks, go back to correct stop. Turn out I apparently still don't know what correct stop is so look at map and take a guess as to which stop is closest to my hotel. Ok I am off tram, I can find where I am on map but have no sense of direction to tell me where to go now. Start wondering streets along with luggage hoping something will make sense. Trying to look confident and in control I find street but can't find hotel. Go around block twice an turn around to see it right behind me. Go in. Check in. Haul luggage into lift, can't get door to close because it is quaint European elevator smaller. Whew, up one floor, find room, but it hasn't been made. Old, smelly, yet nice dutch man apologizes and tries to clean it for me with me standing there with my luggage. I squeeze into my room not much bigger than the lift but grateful to be able to dump stuff and take shower.

Quick nap and out to explore. Realize Van Gogh museum is within a block so go in and take audio tour.

Tune in next time for more adventures in Amsterdam!

Van Gogh Video Message

Here is a link to my video message from the Van Gogh museum. Keep in mind that I was horribly jet lagged at the time. I don't know how much longer it will be available.

The Sam Scoop

I have many thoughts and stories about my trip but first want to update about the Sam and me situation. It is kinda long and complicated and I need to write it out. Many people speculated or wished (or feared) that we would get married while I was in South Africa. We attended his sister's wedding and many of his family also made the comment, "Next time it will be you two." and they welcomed me as part of the family and called me "sister-in-law" but no legal actions were taken. We very much enjoyed our time together and were even more comfortable and natural as any other couple, or as normal as we can possibly be considering our very abnormal and extreme circumstances. I made him dinner each night at the guest house and did laundry while he went to work and entertained me with stories of his day. We even learned to fight, or more accurately, bicker. We also visited friends of mine from the states in Cape Town and got to change roles slightly with him being the one out of his element and in a world that more closely resembled mine. We traveled together and picked out gifts together. All the best things that 2 weeks could bring. We postponed talking much about our situation until I had been there over a week. I'm glad that we did because we needed the time to get comfortable in each other's space again and let the heightened emotions die down a bit. We had a series of wonderful conversations that showed me how wonderful of a match we truly are. We discussed the fact that he is currently enrolled in an internship/practicum program where he is learning and working in the banking business. The education portion of the program completes in April. At that time he will get 3 weeks vacation which he will use to come to the US and get to know people and places here in preparation for a permanent move her later in the year. It seems like a long way away and another "setback" but I don't see it that way. I see it as time for both of us to just live our lives and prepare for where the future takes us. I have every hope and intention that we will be together and that each visit I have made there and visits he makes here and all the time in between are all building blocks of our lives as individuals and our relationship together. I made a vow to him and myself that I will not live "in the meantime" or "wait" for April to come around, I will live in the present and enjoy my life each day. I love him more than ever and have every intention of spending the rest of my life with him but I am not sure what life has in store for me. For that, I will let it be my guide and show me the way and only focus on what "is".
Anyway, that is the Sam Scoop. More info on my travels coming soon.

Photos on the road

My grand plan is to update photos to this album while I am away.
We'll see if it happens but check back often if you wish and maybe you'll get a suprise!

You can also go directly to the album at: http://picasaweb.google.com/heathengoddess/TravelPhotos

Deal or Bad Deal

When my friend Meghan came to me and suggested that I try out for "Deal or No Deal" i said, "Why not?! It will be fun and I can write a cool blog about it. Now that I spent 7 hours with 10,000 other desperate Utahns and am peeling and itchy from my sunburn, I am somehow not as inspired as I thought I would be. But here goes a brief summary of the day:
The auditions began at 10am at the RCWilleys. I have never actually been to an RCWilley in my life. (I guess generic furniture and free hot dogs aren't my thing.) As we walked up and saw the line we both commented that it didn't look to bad and scoffed at the people who saw the line and turned around. When we got to the parking lot and saw the row of porta-pottys and the Disneyland style switchback line we still thought it didn't look to bad. Then we realized the line went out the parking lot, up the sidewalk, across the train tracks, up the street, around the corner, around the corner again and down the street almost back to the store we realized we were in for it. But the day was beautiful, not to hot or cold, there were interesting people to watch and promise of great stories to tell. After about 90 minutes we finally made it to the original line in the parking lot and purchased a slice of pizza from a Little Caesars cart that was capitalizing on the captive audience. I used the porta-potty which was already out of toilet paper and almost full, bleck! Then I rejoined Meg in line. I talked to people on the phone, read my book, talked to Meg, listened to my iPod and just daydreamed. This took me about half way through the parking lot line and until about 1pm. About this time is when a "short application" began to be distributed that we were supposed to fill out in addition to our "long application" we had brought with us. So hundreds of us were walking and trying to write about our most embarrassing moment and most outrageous thing we had ever done. As the day wore on, I kept thinking that waiting there in line filled both categories. But the longer we waited and the sorer our legs and feet and back became and the hungrier we got and the more sunburned, also the more we became determined that we had to see it out. If we had already spent 3,4,5 hours there then we couldn't stop now could we?!
Finally we got up to the door and were ready to head inside the warehouse of RC Willey. We had arrived!! Of course, you could predict it, the line weaved around inside too. But we couldn't give up NOW! So we stuck it out for the remaining 2.5 hours until we got our big chance!

Our big chance was 10 people in front of a casting director. Each person then put down their short application and had 20 seconds to "dazzle" them with the answer to the question, "Tell me about yourself". After my 20 seconds my heart was pounding and I am not ever sure what I said from delirium and exhaustion, she picked up my application and moved on to the next person. What did that mean? Was I in? After all ten of us talked she announced that the people who's applications were still on the table should stay and the rest of us could leave. I had a wave of embarrassment and shame as i skulked down the hallway out into the main store. Of course they dump you into the store. Why wouldn't I want to buy furniture after I stood around for 7 hours?! I waited a few moments for Meg, who was one of the chosen ones. She came out and said they did another round of 20 second interview and she talked to the main guy. But mainly we were both happy to be headed home and sitting down and/or going to the bathroom were more appealing than prospect of a million dollars or even Howie!

Stuff White People Like

So I know that I am behind the times and my friend Gail was on top of this weeks ago, but I just had time to really check out. Stuff White People Like, which is a blog about what White + Middle Class + American + Gen X/Y + Urban People Like. And basically describes me and most of the people I know.
I was both horrified and amused as I read the "full list of SWPL" and realized that over 90% of them would also be on a list of "Stuff Heather Likes". I am proud to say that I am a public radio lovin-yoga doin-farmer's market goin-recycling-vegetarian, who supports Barak Obama and loves my gay friends, Arrested Development and overpriced sandwiches!
If you haven't already, check it out and get a good laugh at your self-important self.